go to hell carolina, go to duke

Paula is my bff. She is also a Carolina Girl. She thought it would be funny to show this article (see links below) to me about how and why people from Carolina hate Duke. Actually, she probably did it to see how I would react. That is probably why I love her. But in any case, thanks to Paula and columnist Ian Williams, here is what I learned about this deep Tarheel pathology:

1. They truly, truly hate Duke with great zeal and without shame.

2. They rally around an article about their hatred for Duke that was published 18 years ago.

3. The author of that article, after almost 20 years, still hates Duke. Obsessively. And happily admits it.

4. For the Tarheels, this article, detailing the writer’s exaggerated feelings of social rejection on his high school visit to Durham, symbolizes the entire basis of their hatred for Duke.

Here is the basic story: guy visits Duke, cries. enrolls at Carolina, loves it. hates Duke forever. and ever. writes about his hatred. writes about his hatred again.

(You might want to read the articles for the full effect. Then come back for my scholarly analysis.)

This guy went to visit Duke because his high school thought it would be beneficial to his future prospects if he went to a great university. Note: Williams admits that a) Carolina was not well-regarded at his school and b) he had never even heard of Carolina before going there.

Let’s reflect on that.

He is basically saying, Carolina was not good enough to be on my (or my school’s) radar in any way until I had a bad experience at Duke. AND after that bad experience at Duke, I searched for any school I could find, no matter how good or bad of a school it was, that would make me feel good for hating Duke.

We now turn to an analysis of Williams’ experience at Duke. These few hours in Durham were so terrible that they brought back horrific memories of the author’s most traumatic childhood experiences, engendering a lasting hatred that he joyously shares with the world. The great tragedy of that afternoon? He didn’t like his tour guide, had a bad piece of pizza, and tripped in the cafeteria.

Williams had a problem with his tour guide because her name was Lorna, she was from New Jersey, had a loud voice, used the word “students” instead of “kids,” and acknowledged how difficult it is to get into Duke. Really, take away the plethora of adjectives in his story and that is what you get. She sounds like a demonic torturess, wouldn’t you agree? Especially when she flirts with a guy that (gasp!) is handsome and in a fraternity.

It cannot be argued plausibly that a bad piece of pizza is a good reason for hating a school, but I will concede that in addition to other factors, it could be a compelling point. It is not so compelling in this case, since none of Mr. Williams’ gripes are particularly egregious.

Finally, Ian Williams trips in the cafeteria and his pizza goes flying onto some girl’s sweater. Well, that is pretty embarrassing. But don’t blame it on the Duke students who saw you fall. What college student doesn’t yell “party foul!” when someone spills or trips in public?

In the end, even if I concede that Lorna was awful, the pizza made him sick, and people in the cafeteria stared at him when he tripped, is that really the type of experience that would send you back to your worst memory? And even if, being an adolescent boy, Williams was mortified beyond belief, would he not recover from the humiliation in a few months, or even weeks? And even if it takes more than 20 years to recover from one afternoon of discomfort, does it really make sense for him to expend so much energy hating Duke as a result? And (last rhetorical question, I promise) even if he does hate Duke that much, what does it say about Carolina fans that this is the symbol of Duke-hating they worship?

Williams was a psychology major. Here is a little psychology for you, Freud: extreme hatred is just love in its angriest, ugliest form. It is a projection of self-hate. Seriously.

So stop hating yourself, Carolina, and go to Duke. Because we don’t hate you as much as you hate yourself. Not even close.


classic. but not trivia.

me: better late than never, right?
Sean: pico
me: what is pico
Sean: thats my version of right
me: did you just make it up
Sean: i decided it means correct
me: oh. well. good decision. where did you find the word?
Sean: made it up

got hamilton?

Daily Trivia
When told that Hamilton may have misled him at the duel, the ever-laconic Burr replied, “Contemptible, if true.”

We have been reading about all of this American stuff in my constitutional law class, (which btw is taught by Steven Calabresi, founder of The Federalist Society, which is generally not that into Hamilton) and I keep getting Hamilton and Madison and Jefferson confused. Because they all wrote Federalist papers and all wrote letters to newspapers under pseudonyms, and all had something to do with the constitution and that stuff.

But then I decided to remember Hamilton because of that funny line by Aaron Burr and that heartbreaking Got Milk? commercial and I found out he is on the $10 bill which is my favorite. I will remember that his name is like Ham, and he was into big government, and Ham is big. I think. I mean I think that Ham is big.

Next time I will try to find a way to remember who the others are. We are going to do trivia at a bar tonight. yay!

spider time

Daily Trivia
More than 150 spiders were used in the laboratory scene in the movie “Spider-Man.” An assistant auditioned spider actors and picked the ones with the most predictable behavior.
The movie’s bug consultant, Steve Kutcher, stated that no spiders were harmed during the filming because the Humane Society looked out for their welfare.

October is the best time to collect spider paraphernalia. There were some spider magnets at the store but they were outrageously expensive. I wouldn’t consider myself especially thrifty but since I have a black fridge they wouldn’t show up and my cost benefit ratio was just too high. The cleaning people came so that probably means less spiders in the corners. But the good news is….wait, I forgot. Seriously. What was it? Oh! The good news is that when it gets colder I like to knit more and knitting reminds me of spiders. Knitting, writing and embroidery all remind me of spiders.
Can I have a spider please? Thank you.

prickles and kits

Daily Trivia
Until relatively recently there was no well established word for a baby hedgehog. Although the word kit had occasionally been used, and sometimes pup or piglet, most books about mammals just called them `baby’ or `young’ hedgehogs.
However, by the early 1990s the word hoglet (or sometimes hedgehoglet) had been introduced, and this word seems to have been in general use among those with an interest in hedgehogs since at least the mid-1990s.
Thanks Oxford.

Isn’t that precious? Not really. How would you feel if you didn’t have a name? You wouldn’t be too pleased if people just kept calling you by other peoples’ names, or by some generic term. I bet those hedgehogs were pretty pricked off. Oh my clever clever wordplay.
Look at this jubilant hedgehoglet! Well, it is either jubilant or tired. Your guess is probably not as good as mine.

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moo didn’t start the fire

Daily Trivia
The Great Chicago Fire raged from October 8th to 9th in 1871. The traditional account of the origin of the fire is that it was started by the O’Learys’ cow kicking over a lantern.
The fire destroyed 3.5 square miles of the city, killing around 250 people.
Sparks from the fire started forest fires that destroyed more than a million acres of Michigan and Wisconsin timberland.

On October 7, 1997, the Chicago City Council approved a resolution which absolved Mrs. O’Leary’s cow of all blame for the Great Chicago Fire.

Thank goodness because you wouldn’t want a cow with you on death row. They can be really tough cellys. “Celly” is a colloquialism of prison residents commonly used to refer to the person with whom they share a cell.
The O’Leary’s house pretty much survived the fire undamaged. That must have been awkward. “Sorry guys, my cow started this huge fire and now the city has to be totally rebuilt and you probably lost loved ones. But the good news is that poker night is still on for Wednesday!”

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they like their estuaries

Daily Trivia
Argentines like to say that the Rio de la Plata is the widest river in the world. At its widest point, it is more than 220 kilometers (130 miles) across. For purists, though, the Rio de la Plata is not a river at all, but an estuary.

Muah ha ha. The Argentines are wrong! This is a post from Argentina. I am at a locutorio renting this computer´s internet time, and so blogspot thinks I speak Spanish. Actually, it thinks I speak Castellano, since that is what they call it in Argentina. Instead of having a button that says “save as draft” it says “guardar como borrador.”
Many gauchos were seen by us today since there was a desfile (parade) celebrating the Gaucho General Guemes. There were even little gauchitos riding regular horses. Also a dog followed us around town for some time today but when Paula tried to give it some of her cereal bar the dog wouldn´t eat it.
That is all. Happy Dia del Padre today and happy Dia de la Bandera tomorrow. Sean was right that every day is pretty much a holiday here.

UPDATE: Sean has been added as a label for this post since he requested it. Requests for label additions will be granted if and only if a valid argument for these additions is made.

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